Tag Archive for: healing journey

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Windows To The Soul

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windows to the soulProper treatment can save lives.
(Can I be more dramatic?! I think I could, yes, if I’ll give it more thought, but I think this is dramatic enough so I’ll move on)

When do we seek help?
Usually, this will happen when we feel our lives aren’t going in the direction we always imagined it would. Or when we feel great distress.
We can have trouble sleeping, anxieties, we feel very tired, and we want to sleep and disconnect from life, we fight a lot with people around us, we feel great dissatisfaction with what is happening in our lives… it’s a long list.

Our Healing Journey

Acupuncture treatment, as is Anpuku treatment, is a journey.
After trauma, we find ourselves learning to live our lives with what happened to us. This is our healing journey.
We can not erase what happened to us, we can’t erase trauma just as we can’t erase happiness. This is how we live our lives, we flow on a wide range of emotions.

During our healing journey, we might not express all that we feel. Life has a fast pace, and we try to adapt ourselves as best we can.
But what about our hearts?
What about our soul?
What about everything that we feel?
We will sometimes find we do not let things out for long periods, and the only problem with that is that it will come back to get us.
How?
We can have trouble sleeping, anxieties, we feel very tired, and we want to sleep and disconnect from life, we fight a lot with people around us, we feel great dissatisfaction with what is happening in our lives… sounds familiar?

Windows To The Soul

Acupuncture and Anpuku treatments offer us windows to the soul.
Along the healing journey, windows are opening on all the things we repressed, those things we said can wait, you know, those things our soul and body have given us many messages that they need to come out.

Acupuncture and Anpuku sessions can bring things we never thought of up to the surface, such as our wish to give to others and our expectation to receive from those around us, and our fear they will let us down.
These can manifest in our body as pain (stomach ache, headache), dizziness, overwhelming emotion, and so on.

These are reactions to the treatment. Things are starting to change, to move. It’s like opening a window and air comes in. Suddenly, we can breathe a little better.
Suddenly, you will notice that you sleep better at nights, the anxieties really calmed down, you don’t feel as tired as you did before, you do not wish to disconnect from life anymore, you love more and fight less with people around you, and you are getting more and more satisfaction out of life as you go along.

These reactions can sometimes make us feel uncomfortable, and we decide to stop the treatment. That’s ok, of course, we should always do what we feel is right. But please remember- you are not alone in this healing journey, you have your practitioner. I think it’s best to share all those things you feel, and maybe, it is time to solve all these things that are preventing you from having the life you wish to have.
That’s a form of saving lives, isn’t it?

נדנדת הרגשות לאחר לידה שקטה

The Rollercoaster of Emotions After Stillbirth

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rollercoaster of emotionsStillbirth is a loss.
We go through a real loss, even if society doesn’t always acknowledge our loss, as society never saw our baby.
But we felt our babies grow and move inside us, totally present in our lives.

Loss is known to everyone. I don’t know one person who hasn’t gone through a significant loss in hers or his life. When I saw “significant loss,” I mean significant to that specific person.
The kind of loss that creates intense feelings of mourning, sadness, a forced goodbye from a loved one. A profound difficulty performing daily activities, and much confusion.

The kind of loss that sends us through the rollercoaster of emotions of mourning. All the feelings I mentioned above are present at the same time, when we feel the need to laugh, smile, go out and have a drink to feel free from this emotional weight in our hearts. Oh, we know the weight won’t go away, it will wait for us, no doubt. But just for a few moments, we try to free ourselves from it.

Stillbirth is death.
Death of a baby. End of hopes, expectations, of a whole life.
It’s loss forced upon us.
Once we start addressing stillbirth as such, we will be able to understand all that we go through after stillbirth.
Once society addresses stillbirth as such, society will understand:
The need to mourn, the need to cry. We will realize that we are not “dwelling on this,” we are saying goodbye again and again. Each time will be a little different because we will be a little different.

We will understand the need for commemoration comes because we don’t want to forget what was erased from everyone’s memories.
We want to give meaning to this difficult and sad experience that we went through.

We will know this rollercoaster of emotions after a stillbirth is the rollercoaster of emotions one feels after losing someone significant to us.

But I think the most crucial part is for *us* to understand all this.
I think that in the end, it doesn’t matter if society understands us or not. I guess we’d rather have the seal of approval from people around us. I’m sure it’s easier than giving it to ourselves.
But we should be able to give it to ourselves, the permission to “dwell with it,” to mourn, to feel the loss, to “always talk about it, again and again,” because it is a part of the grieving process we need to go through before we enter the next phase.

Once we allow ourselves to feel everything, the need for assurances from people around us won’t be needed anymore.
The first weeks are difficult. As the Buddha said, thus it is.

Slowly the process we go through changes. Sometimes we’re up, and sometimes we’re down.
It’s all part of the healing journey.

הפנים והשמות של לידה שקטה

The Faces and Names of Stillbirth

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The Faces and Names of StillbirthI went through stillbirth.
It is not a source of shame. It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. Stillbirth for me is a deep sadness I went through, and I can reconnect to it in a second. I choose not to do so.
Instead, I choose to talk about stillbirth.
It is the thing that will give this experience a face, a name, presence, acknowledgment.
It is the thing that gives faces and names to stillbirth.

For years there are rows of women who remain faceless, who lost their baby and have birth written all over their bodies and souls.
With an extra scar: we lost our babies. They died in the womb.
I don’t think it’s right to keep this experience faceless.

For years there are rows of babies who are buried faceless and nameless.
Yet they all have a face, and most of them (I think) have names just as my Ayelet had a face and a name.

Working through the loss I went through doesn’t prevent me from living my life. It allows me to acknowledge her presence in my life and the fact that she lived with me, inside me, and now she’s gone.
For one to die, one must be alive first. And if I don’t acknowledge Ayelet’s life, how will I be able to admit her death?

It is the only way that leads to mourning, grief, saying goodbye, and integrating this experience in my life.
I go on with this experience as a part of my bundle in life.
It is a healing journey.